Alright Scrotes, Romans, C(o)untrymen.
We all knew this blog would be ridiculously infrequent so I'll just bypass the part where I pretend I meant to keep it up to date, fill you in on so much about Korea etc. etc. Well I guess I fail on bypassing it now and have in fact drawn even more attention to it through my fumbling ad clunky prologue.
Fact of the matter is Korea/Korean life has recently become at best mildly entertaining if monotonous and at worst downright infuriating. Cold as well. It was darn cold, but its picking up a bit I guess. Raining on Paddy's day though- load of me tits.
Anyway, as I said we've well and truly hit the hum-drum stage of life over here. Things are no longer new and exciting, more often than not they're bland and boring....still, I'll fill in from our vacation (HOLIDAY! I've started using words such as 'vacation', 'soccer', 'store', 'sidewalk' due to their prevalence in the spoken English in many of the people here- for shame. So yis have that to look forward to when I come home in addition to the fact that teaching elementary school kids here has attacked my own vocabulary and proficiency in the English language exponentially....look at me, desperately tryin to use big words in a feeble attempt to convince myself my English hasn't gone to pot, but it has...oh it has....sentences usually kinda crawl slowly out of my mouth like a not yet ripened turd that you brazenly attempted to pass too early)....well, I love to sidetrack myself....so, yeah- The Philippines, we went on holiday there. I'm not gonna bother peppering the blog post with pictures of our adventures cos they're all on facebook anyway and I'm sure most of you've seen em/can see them, Bryan- you're just gonna have to buck up and join the cool kids if ya wanna see them, here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150560643769146.398575.848709145&type=3
PT I: The Philippines.
So in mid-January, we set off for the Philippines. I insisted on leaving for the airport at a ridiculous hour to ensure we made it there on time, my faith in Mairead's ability to be on time ever dwindling over the passing months. We left from Busan airport and arrived in Cebu....long story short, we were sans money and extremely tired...it was in the wee hours...we got ripped off exchanging our remaining korean won to filipino peso and proceeded to bend over and get buggered by the nearest taxi driver who was willing. This fucker took us to our hotel, proceeded to tell us it was not in a good location and looked like a 'haunted hotel' (it actually did, we completely agreed with him, it was isolated, dark and creepy)...we agreed to let him bring us to Cebu city for a place to stay. Along the drive he informs us of a festival on at the moment Sinulog- so essentially, a festival that will ensure that all city accommodations are booked out? Why, of course! What a dick, he drove us round on an all night wild goose chase for new accomodation, culminating with us returning to the haunted hotel. I'd never been more tired in my life and acquiesced to his ridiculous requests for money- we gave him ALL we had transferred in the airport- the cheeky fucker wanted more, I (half-jokingly) told him I had 3,000 korean won (2 euro) in my pocket if he wanted that.....yep, he did. He wanted it. Fucking shithead. Anyway, I was so exhausted I could barely stand still or sign my name on the hotel receipt. We collapsed into bed in the haunted hotel.
So we stayed there and it wasn't so bad. We explored Cebu a bit, found a nice pub called Magellans, experienced the city centre and its fireworks for Sinulog. At one point in downtown Cebu before the fireworks show I was dying for a piss so I headed for the nearest alcohol dispensary. I was greeted at the door by a midget in a jesters outfit- Mairead pleaded me not to go in but I was busting! I ignored the bizarre burlesque surroundings and the cries of "oh, hello Big Senor" from the many (possibly transvestite) hookers inside the place. As I pissed the toilet attendant began chatting to me...I think he called me Big Senor as well. As I went to wash my hands he continued bigging me up then began MASSAGING MY SHOULDERS?!?! ok, this was too weird, I told him 'no thanks, no ladies, just pissing' and I got the hell outta there. Mairead was waiting outside the toilet door. When we went to leave the midget and the scantily clad ladies were blocking it looking at the fireworks, I sheepishly tried to get by and the midget duly parted the sea of hookers for us.
So we decided to leave the madness of Cebu and head to the more secluded island of Bohol. That was the part of the trip for seeing sights. We went on a river cruise, went ziplining(fucking cool), dolphin watching, saw the chocolate hills and some Tarsiers (smallest monkeys in the world, native to the philippines, BIG eyes). We hit a snag when Mairead got one of the worst sunburns I've ever seen. She fell asleep in the sun sans cream, the only time she stirred was to turn onto her back to give that a good aul scorching as well. As we left the beach she was white as a sheet and getting sick...the next few days weren't too pleasant for her but thankfully the burn was abating somewhat by the time we headed to party central Boracay.
Boracay was rated 2nd best beach in asia, only behind Bali. I was underwhelmed to be honest...not sure what I expected...maybe magical sand particles that don't stick to ye or something...but it was pretty nice anyway. We were there for a good solid week or so and all there was to do was eat and drink (which we did in abundance, the food was a welcome change from the muck ya get in Korea). We did go zorbing though which was fun, and parasailing which was kinda boring, although livened up by Mairead getting sick down into the sea from the parasail. We spent a fuckload of money but to hell with it, you're only young once, eh? We also stayed at a place called 'Faith Village Resort' on Boracay....it was kinda weird and was primarily intended for those seeking spiritual renewal...we used the room mainly for drinking and smoking....
So returning from holidays was depressing as fuck. It was cold and miserable in Daegu and we were expected to come to school to deskwarm despite the absence of any work for us to do. I was deskwarming from early January to just this Monday gone...in between there was 1 week I had to teach a little. Its not so bad once your in school, you can read, watch something, listen to music, even sleep, but I was incredibly irked by the fact that I was expected to get up out of bed at 8 a.m to walk in the freezing cold, just to sit on my arse for 8 hours....some days I got away with sneaking home at lunch, another day I got 'politely' told not to be late again cos I showed up at 9 and not 8.30?!?! keep in mind- I hadn't a bit of work to do and hadn't been late at all (early if anything) while teaching....it would get to you but it could be a lot worse. Latest we're hearing is they may not give us our extra time to go home this summer and will try move it to winter. If my school does that I won't be staying a 2nd year unless I find a different job with no desk warming.
To brighten up the drudgery of deskwarming however, we were treated to the delightful company of one Kenneth Tuite in late February/Early March. I managed to get off early the Friday Ken was arriving. I headed up to Seoul as early as I could to meet him at the hostel we'd booked. It was kind of surreal opening the door to the hostel room to find Ken lying there. Ken's bags hadn't made it with him from China due to complications with connection flights, my spirit was beginning to be crushed by the incessant and pointless deskwarming so we shared a rather exasperated embrace (touched willies and all). We shot the shit for a while then explored the area a little. We experienced some of the fine cuisine the Hogik University area of Seoul had to offer before Mairead arrived (kebab, Taco Bell, Burger King. seriously, Korean food- fuck off!)
The next day we were going on the DMZ tour so we took it handy enough. Next morning we struggle out of bed to make it to Camp Kim to embark on our tour of the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Korea. The tour was a surreal experience and a must for anyone who visits Korea. I was actually impressed by it and I'm impressed by nothing here. We visited a tunnel the north had been digging to the south, an observing point where you could look into the north with binoculars (abandoned highways, empty villages, lone soldiers on watch- creepy), a fully built and functional but empty train station that they hope will be operational one day as a connection between north and south and a gateway for Korea to China, Russia, Europe by railroad. Finally we entered the actual DMZ. We were in the negotiation rooms used by the two during armistice talks, literally on the border and we went to an excellent vantage point to see 'Freedom Village' or maybe it was 'Propaganda Village', I forget where you could see into North Koreas 'staged' village full of empty houses with painted on windows.
That night we went out and got wrecked. Was good but my memory is hazy, as is often the case with me on nights here. When I hit the bottle, I hit it hard and the bars stay open till all hours so black outs are frequent.
After that we brought Ken up to Daegu. While there I introduced him to the comfort food delights on offer at The Holy Grill (run by a Canadian, serves great slap up Western meals), he later reciprocated by buying me and Mairead dinner there on his last night- loverly fella. We brought him to a DVD Room- essentially, your own private cinema room; big projection screen, you pick a movie and the room is yours...although there are always tissues in the rooms and we believe it is a popular spot for the young korean folk to get their 'freak on' as the kids say...still, I'd wallow in jizz for my own private cinema. He also experienced the delights of the Playstation centre....a load of playstations, a lot of koreans playing pro evo old/new versions and one group of Waygooks (us) playing the new Fifa! Ken contributed to me and him claiming victory in the tournament that night and I've missed his partnership since he's left. We went on a wild one in Daegu after that, allowing Ken to sample some of the many boozy delights downtown. That weekend we hit Busan, although Ken's hangover saturday morning strongly disagreed with going. We got there eventually and had a sweet ass hostel which was essebntially our own private swanky high rise apartment for the night. We arrived late so all we did saturday was go out again, another hazy night for yours truly but I remember a creepy, odd Korean drunk at the bar who had a weird deformed hand which seemed to amount to one Giant finger...I just did my best not to look or get sick when he shook my hand.
The next day the rain was pissing and the wind howling but we managed to get Ken to a temple (they're all the fuckin same- boring as fuck) anyway, spose ya gotta see one when you're here. We also went to a traditional fish market which had been talked up way too much by one of the lads dads while he was visiting here. Was just a loada fish on sale, quite smelly. You could buy it and have it cooked in the restaurant upstairs. We just went for a set menu upstairs. Wasn't great. Not as good as a Maccy D's anyway.
So before Ken went back to Seoul he hung out in Daegu and we mostly played fifa, just like back home. It was great. A little (or large, if you will) slice of home for a week or so. Thoroughly missing the man since his departure and wish I coulda joined him in China to see Bryan.
Well, perhaps Bryan will continue the adventures of Kenneth Tuite in Asia in the China Monologues. For now, its Friday, almost half 4 and that means quitting time! Gonna go home, crack a can and look forward to a wild, black out Paddy's (definitely not paTTy's) Day in Busan!
Peace out Scrotes.
Thursday, 15 March 2012
Monday, 2 January 2012
Kaw-Liss-Ah-Miss-Ugh! and New Years Skiing.
Alright scrotes.
Long time no blog. but put away your hankies yis fairies. Your hero has returned to fill ya in on his Kaw-Liss-Ah-Miss-Ugh (christmas) and New Years antics.
So things have been fairly quiet and normal over here so not much to report but Christmas and New Years were good.
For Christmas Myself, Mairead and fifteen of our friends rented a house in the mountains just outside Daegu called Palgonsan. It was a nice idea and I'm glad we went cos just another night out in Downtown Daegu on Christmas may have been a bit depressing as Christmas away from home was already depressing in itself.
So on xmas eve (interesting tidbit- xmas is not 'sacrilegious' or an attempt to take the christ out of christmas but rather derives from the Greek letter 'chi' which was represented by an X. See, my blogs can be both informative AND boring.) we rose early and met everybody at an Emart (big shop ala tesco etc.) in what I want to say was northern Daegu....I haven't accustomed myself to the city I live in the way I should. So anyway, the West Side Massive which consisted of Me, Mairead and our friend Jem who lives nearby arrived to be greeted by a mountain of booze and food that had already been purchased while also being informed there was still more being bought inside. We went in and got our own booze, bumping into our mates along the way and fuck me, there was a lot of food. Canadian Jon didn't seem impressed, inquiring "Are we seriously gonna go through this huge fawcken tube of chilli powder in two days?"....I tended to agree, it looked a lot. But there was a lot of us. We somehow piled our boxes of food and booze and our 17 bodies in 4 taxis and headed to the mountains.
The journey wasn't too long and we soon were mountainside. We waited while our Korean friend MJ found out exactly where the house was. She was told 'behind the restaurant'. We were standing right outside a restaurant so she instructed us to walk round the back. We all struggled to pick up as much luggage/food/booze we could and trudged away. We went round the back of the restaurant, did a nice little circle were a bag mairead was carrying burst and found ourselves back in the exact same spot we'd started at a minute before. Already people were wheezing. Shit was heavy. Turned out there was another restaurant up a little slope. So we trudged on up there. Bit of a struggle but we made it. The house was sweet, 2 bedrooms, nice big HD TV, decent kitchen area, BBQ etc. The jacks was a little weird....1 urinal, two stalls...I was instantly worried about walk ins mid dump but I tried to put it to the back of my mind (the nagging of the thought never really left me the whole weekend truth be told, leaving me rather soured.).
We went about packing away food/booze and decorating the house a wee bit. I had been made 'Entertainement Director' due to the fact I had my media player. I hooked it up but it was in black and white. Our korean friends asked staff could they help change the TV settings. This struggle went on for a while until I realised I had to change the setting on my harddrive. Felt like a dope but hey, now we had a good selection of xmas movies and tv specials in colour. I'd downloaded a fuckload of xmas music but most of it had mysteriously disappeared so we repeated the same xmas tracklist all weekend. People weren't impressed I'd excluded Mariah Carey but I couldn't give a shit- I'm sick of her and that stupid song.
So we settled down to some xmas entertainemnt and drinks while master chef extraordinaire Gareth Mohammed worked his magic in the kitchen, helped intermittently by different people. Gaz was definitely the hero of the weekend. He cooked the best Fajitas I've ever had for xmas eve dinner and orchestrated a whopper xmas day dinner too. much props.
We did a secret santa and exchanged presents. I got a calendar and a giant alarm clock. Mairead has used em more than me. I had Gaz and got him I, Partridge which he loved.
After we ate we indulged in Boys Vs. Girls charades. I think we got around 10 or so in a row and usually within a few seconds. The game was intense. Accusations and insults were being bandied about the room like they were going out of fashion, tempers flared, bellicosity was unleashed. I think we won the game. It was great craic altogether.
There was a noraebang (korean karaoke room) in the restaurant down the hill so we headed there for shits and giggles. It was good. I chose to do a rendition of 'Without Me' by Eminem. My flow (and memory of the lyrics) were seriously hampered by alcohol and so it wasn't very good. Me and Gaz did do 'If you don't know me by now' inspired by David Brent earlier in the day. We headed back to the house and eventually slept.
Xmas morning was a little rough to begin with but we all gradually got into the swing of it. A hearty breakfast and some more entertainment got us up and at em again. We went for an xmas day walk where two people who were playing with these dogs at a nearby shop stepped in the dogs' shit which was fucking hilarious.
We went back to the house, had dinner which was amazing then chilled out and watched L.A. Confidential which was also very good. We went home on xmas day evening, all pretty depressed at the prospect of school and winter camps the next morning. Ah well....
Chrimbo Dinner:
I completed my English Winter Camp at my school the following Friday and straight after me and Mairead headed on a train to Seoul to stay the night. We were going on a skiing weekend with some of the same people from Xmas and had to get a bus from seoul to go further north at 7.30 a.m. on the saturday. This was the first time I'd been to Seoul but saw nothing as it was just a stop off for skiing.
So me and Mairead only woke up at 7.30 on the saturday and had to race to get our bus. luckily it hadnt left and we werent the last ones to arrive so didnt feel too bad. The journey further north wasn't too bad. We picked up our ski gear at a rental shop and headed for the slopes. We began with a beginners lesson which is where the comedy began. I happened to be standing right next to the instructor so she sent me down the small learners slope first. She told me how to stop and I thought I'd understood. I gave myself a wee push off, didn't fall, didn't stumble, felt ok. Pumped up by our friend Jennie's shout of "go on mark" as I went by her, I gave myself a proper push off, gaining speed. My inner monologue at this point musta ran something like Jez from Peep Show so I'll explain the ordeal that way, as an inner monologue.
"Fuck it, I'm gonna go for it. Yeah. This is one of them things where I'm just a natural at it, I pick it up first time and I'm amazing. Fuck it, I'll go faster. Now to stop. Hmmm, that's not really working....maybe if I...no....Ohhhh fuuuuuuccckkkk...there's so many kids walking by down there. Can;t smash into a kid. Shit, just missed one. There's a pole, I'll use that to stop myself" CRASH! into the pole, one ski flew off me. Korean family nearby looked a little distressed/concerned. I trudged back up the hill. People (especially Jen, who'd encouraged me in the first place) found it very funny. So did I, admittedly. Mairead's turn came up ad hers was quite similar except instead of hitting a pole, she just skiied pretty much all the way to the youth hostel door on site, plonking herself down nearby. After that however, we both figured out turning and stopping. It was a fucker taking off your ski's and trudging back up the hill everytime for the learners slope. one time Mairead attempted to trudge up with her ski's still on (I mastered this)- she was pretty much at the top of the hill again when one foot slipped slightly backwards. This began the slowest, most helpless backwards descent of a hill on ski's I'd ever seen. She slowly went further and further away from me, unable to stop, calling for help (but laughing all the same) until she ended up at the very bottom of the hill again where she took off her ski's and walked up. As this all happened, I could hear the infectious giggle of Aaron Dormer in my head- he'd have enjoyed it so much.
Bored of the learners slope, we hit a beginners slope. The jump from one to the other was pretty big I must say. When we got to the top of the slope via chairlift Mairead was instantly on her arse, sliding out of her seat. I pushed myself off slowly down the slope. Next thing I know, I hear screams of Mark! Mark! behind me. I swivel round to see a ball of pink (mairead) hurtling my way at high speed. I desperately try to get out of the way (gentleman), she tries to grab me to stop herself, doesn't get any purchase. I spin round a couple times but stay on my feet and grab a wooden pole. Mairead crashed into a mesh fence nearby. It was fucking hilarious. Gareth pointed out astutely that it was like something from a 'Carry On' film. I could see mairead would be a while so I took a couple tips from expert skiier Jon 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' Mcintyre and went down the hill. Fuck you go fast. And I hadn't mastered slowing or controlling my speed. If i needed to stop or felt I was going too fast I just fell. I got a little stuck at the side for a while but I hurtled down and thoroughly enjoyed it. Jon advised to just go for it, and not be a pussy about it otherwise ya won't enjoy it. Good advice.
I waited a while for Mairead but reports from the slope suggested her descent would be laborious. Some other people were giving up after rather harrowing experiences down the beginners slope. So I was left with Jon (Canadian, skiing since he was 5), Jules (Jon's mot, skiied a lot), Gaz (naturally good) Jamie (gone skiing a few times) and Shuba (skiied a few times). I only knew that Jon and Jules had skiied at this point so I thought we were all pretty much at the same level. I went with them to what was called the Gondola. As we ascended the cable car it started to look really fucking high up. "no," I thought to myself, "we must go up here, go halfway down then get off".
Nope. We were going for the top. Through sheer ignorance, I'd landed myself on a fucker of a mountain that I had to ski down. "How many runs had you done before this Mark?" "Just that one there!" "Fuck! That's brave" (not brave, I thought, stupid ignorance) "maybe you should go back on the car" "Fuck that fockin DO IT!" (Jon).
So fuck it, I went all the way up, I was gonna come down. From the top there were a range of slopes. Jon went down the expert and we took on the beginners. It was really fuckin high up. I started as slow as I could and for the first while I was ok. Then the slope got a little steeper, busier and trickier. I began to fall on my arse and have trouble getting up. Jules was helping me but I didnt wanna ruin her ski so I told her to go ahead. She later told me every now and then she'd she me flying by, falling on my arse and struggling to get up. Essentially when I began to fall, my mind went a bit and I just wasn't using my technique for slowing/turning etc. properly. So essentially. This is how I was going down. Fast as fuck for a while, fall on my arse, dangerously hurtling down the mountain at full speed, fall on my arse. I had to fall for fear I'd crash into someone. My ski's began to go flying off me as I fell (a problem Jon later cited to be down to my boots and ski's not fitting right with each other) the safety guards patrolling the slope had to help me now and then and urged me to 'go slow' 'I'm trying' I replied. But fuck it, it was a rush even though at one point I thought I might have to slide down the rest of the slope on my arse.
Lo and behold however, from ploughing on with it, I actually had the hang of it by the end of the hill. I bumped into Jon (now on his 4th run since I'd seen him) and he said I looked fine. The lads had seen me from the cable car on another run and said I looked in control. Not bad. I'd overcome the Gondola! Fuckin' A. People were amazed I'd gone down it after only 1 other beginner run and I was touted as a hero. Ignorance truly is bliss I guess. I'm glad I went down it anyway cos it was a helluva an experience. Here's us at the top of the Gondola (I was terrified in reality- brave face and all that):
We gave back our gear after that and hit our dorm rooms to shower and get ready for new years. Pre-drinks were had then we hit a club across the road. We paid 10,000 won in each (about 6.50 yos) I got 2 free drinks cards for walking in last and they were giving free shots of tequila (i had 4 or 5). the club was empty enough though but we had a good laugh. Some people hit the booze a little too hard and the night ended earlier and a little messier than hoped. But we had fun and me and mairead saw some fireworks outside. Gaz ordered Pig's Feet from a korean BBQ for an end of the year meal after the night out. I walked in on him, Jen and Shuba- didn't know it was pig's feet, didn't know they hadn't fully bbq'd it yet, ate some- RANK! Gaz got on well with the lady there. Calling her Mama. Here they are together:
We found out the next day we missed quite a show on the slopes. There were skiiers flying down the mountains with torches blazing, spelling out 2012 and all that jazz. sounded cool, but ah well. once ye have fun thats all that matters.
The trip was topped off by them playing the film The Fighter on the bus on the way back. I was gonna sleep but made myself stay awake for that. Great film. And that was new years.
Hope y'all had fun wherever ye may be.
Stay safe.
Long time no blog. but put away your hankies yis fairies. Your hero has returned to fill ya in on his Kaw-Liss-Ah-Miss-Ugh (christmas) and New Years antics.
So things have been fairly quiet and normal over here so not much to report but Christmas and New Years were good.
For Christmas Myself, Mairead and fifteen of our friends rented a house in the mountains just outside Daegu called Palgonsan. It was a nice idea and I'm glad we went cos just another night out in Downtown Daegu on Christmas may have been a bit depressing as Christmas away from home was already depressing in itself.
So on xmas eve (interesting tidbit- xmas is not 'sacrilegious' or an attempt to take the christ out of christmas but rather derives from the Greek letter 'chi' which was represented by an X. See, my blogs can be both informative AND boring.) we rose early and met everybody at an Emart (big shop ala tesco etc.) in what I want to say was northern Daegu....I haven't accustomed myself to the city I live in the way I should. So anyway, the West Side Massive which consisted of Me, Mairead and our friend Jem who lives nearby arrived to be greeted by a mountain of booze and food that had already been purchased while also being informed there was still more being bought inside. We went in and got our own booze, bumping into our mates along the way and fuck me, there was a lot of food. Canadian Jon didn't seem impressed, inquiring "Are we seriously gonna go through this huge fawcken tube of chilli powder in two days?"....I tended to agree, it looked a lot. But there was a lot of us. We somehow piled our boxes of food and booze and our 17 bodies in 4 taxis and headed to the mountains.
The journey wasn't too long and we soon were mountainside. We waited while our Korean friend MJ found out exactly where the house was. She was told 'behind the restaurant'. We were standing right outside a restaurant so she instructed us to walk round the back. We all struggled to pick up as much luggage/food/booze we could and trudged away. We went round the back of the restaurant, did a nice little circle were a bag mairead was carrying burst and found ourselves back in the exact same spot we'd started at a minute before. Already people were wheezing. Shit was heavy. Turned out there was another restaurant up a little slope. So we trudged on up there. Bit of a struggle but we made it. The house was sweet, 2 bedrooms, nice big HD TV, decent kitchen area, BBQ etc. The jacks was a little weird....1 urinal, two stalls...I was instantly worried about walk ins mid dump but I tried to put it to the back of my mind (the nagging of the thought never really left me the whole weekend truth be told, leaving me rather soured.).
We went about packing away food/booze and decorating the house a wee bit. I had been made 'Entertainement Director' due to the fact I had my media player. I hooked it up but it was in black and white. Our korean friends asked staff could they help change the TV settings. This struggle went on for a while until I realised I had to change the setting on my harddrive. Felt like a dope but hey, now we had a good selection of xmas movies and tv specials in colour. I'd downloaded a fuckload of xmas music but most of it had mysteriously disappeared so we repeated the same xmas tracklist all weekend. People weren't impressed I'd excluded Mariah Carey but I couldn't give a shit- I'm sick of her and that stupid song.
So we settled down to some xmas entertainemnt and drinks while master chef extraordinaire Gareth Mohammed worked his magic in the kitchen, helped intermittently by different people. Gaz was definitely the hero of the weekend. He cooked the best Fajitas I've ever had for xmas eve dinner and orchestrated a whopper xmas day dinner too. much props.
We did a secret santa and exchanged presents. I got a calendar and a giant alarm clock. Mairead has used em more than me. I had Gaz and got him I, Partridge which he loved.
After we ate we indulged in Boys Vs. Girls charades. I think we got around 10 or so in a row and usually within a few seconds. The game was intense. Accusations and insults were being bandied about the room like they were going out of fashion, tempers flared, bellicosity was unleashed. I think we won the game. It was great craic altogether.
There was a noraebang (korean karaoke room) in the restaurant down the hill so we headed there for shits and giggles. It was good. I chose to do a rendition of 'Without Me' by Eminem. My flow (and memory of the lyrics) were seriously hampered by alcohol and so it wasn't very good. Me and Gaz did do 'If you don't know me by now' inspired by David Brent earlier in the day. We headed back to the house and eventually slept.
Xmas morning was a little rough to begin with but we all gradually got into the swing of it. A hearty breakfast and some more entertainment got us up and at em again. We went for an xmas day walk where two people who were playing with these dogs at a nearby shop stepped in the dogs' shit which was fucking hilarious.
We went back to the house, had dinner which was amazing then chilled out and watched L.A. Confidential which was also very good. We went home on xmas day evening, all pretty depressed at the prospect of school and winter camps the next morning. Ah well....
I completed my English Winter Camp at my school the following Friday and straight after me and Mairead headed on a train to Seoul to stay the night. We were going on a skiing weekend with some of the same people from Xmas and had to get a bus from seoul to go further north at 7.30 a.m. on the saturday. This was the first time I'd been to Seoul but saw nothing as it was just a stop off for skiing.
So me and Mairead only woke up at 7.30 on the saturday and had to race to get our bus. luckily it hadnt left and we werent the last ones to arrive so didnt feel too bad. The journey further north wasn't too bad. We picked up our ski gear at a rental shop and headed for the slopes. We began with a beginners lesson which is where the comedy began. I happened to be standing right next to the instructor so she sent me down the small learners slope first. She told me how to stop and I thought I'd understood. I gave myself a wee push off, didn't fall, didn't stumble, felt ok. Pumped up by our friend Jennie's shout of "go on mark" as I went by her, I gave myself a proper push off, gaining speed. My inner monologue at this point musta ran something like Jez from Peep Show so I'll explain the ordeal that way, as an inner monologue.
"Fuck it, I'm gonna go for it. Yeah. This is one of them things where I'm just a natural at it, I pick it up first time and I'm amazing. Fuck it, I'll go faster. Now to stop. Hmmm, that's not really working....maybe if I...no....Ohhhh fuuuuuuccckkkk...there's so many kids walking by down there. Can;t smash into a kid. Shit, just missed one. There's a pole, I'll use that to stop myself" CRASH! into the pole, one ski flew off me. Korean family nearby looked a little distressed/concerned. I trudged back up the hill. People (especially Jen, who'd encouraged me in the first place) found it very funny. So did I, admittedly. Mairead's turn came up ad hers was quite similar except instead of hitting a pole, she just skiied pretty much all the way to the youth hostel door on site, plonking herself down nearby. After that however, we both figured out turning and stopping. It was a fucker taking off your ski's and trudging back up the hill everytime for the learners slope. one time Mairead attempted to trudge up with her ski's still on (I mastered this)- she was pretty much at the top of the hill again when one foot slipped slightly backwards. This began the slowest, most helpless backwards descent of a hill on ski's I'd ever seen. She slowly went further and further away from me, unable to stop, calling for help (but laughing all the same) until she ended up at the very bottom of the hill again where she took off her ski's and walked up. As this all happened, I could hear the infectious giggle of Aaron Dormer in my head- he'd have enjoyed it so much.
Bored of the learners slope, we hit a beginners slope. The jump from one to the other was pretty big I must say. When we got to the top of the slope via chairlift Mairead was instantly on her arse, sliding out of her seat. I pushed myself off slowly down the slope. Next thing I know, I hear screams of Mark! Mark! behind me. I swivel round to see a ball of pink (mairead) hurtling my way at high speed. I desperately try to get out of the way (gentleman), she tries to grab me to stop herself, doesn't get any purchase. I spin round a couple times but stay on my feet and grab a wooden pole. Mairead crashed into a mesh fence nearby. It was fucking hilarious. Gareth pointed out astutely that it was like something from a 'Carry On' film. I could see mairead would be a while so I took a couple tips from expert skiier Jon 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' Mcintyre and went down the hill. Fuck you go fast. And I hadn't mastered slowing or controlling my speed. If i needed to stop or felt I was going too fast I just fell. I got a little stuck at the side for a while but I hurtled down and thoroughly enjoyed it. Jon advised to just go for it, and not be a pussy about it otherwise ya won't enjoy it. Good advice.
I waited a while for Mairead but reports from the slope suggested her descent would be laborious. Some other people were giving up after rather harrowing experiences down the beginners slope. So I was left with Jon (Canadian, skiing since he was 5), Jules (Jon's mot, skiied a lot), Gaz (naturally good) Jamie (gone skiing a few times) and Shuba (skiied a few times). I only knew that Jon and Jules had skiied at this point so I thought we were all pretty much at the same level. I went with them to what was called the Gondola. As we ascended the cable car it started to look really fucking high up. "no," I thought to myself, "we must go up here, go halfway down then get off".
Nope. We were going for the top. Through sheer ignorance, I'd landed myself on a fucker of a mountain that I had to ski down. "How many runs had you done before this Mark?" "Just that one there!" "Fuck! That's brave" (not brave, I thought, stupid ignorance) "maybe you should go back on the car" "Fuck that fockin DO IT!" (Jon).
So fuck it, I went all the way up, I was gonna come down. From the top there were a range of slopes. Jon went down the expert and we took on the beginners. It was really fuckin high up. I started as slow as I could and for the first while I was ok. Then the slope got a little steeper, busier and trickier. I began to fall on my arse and have trouble getting up. Jules was helping me but I didnt wanna ruin her ski so I told her to go ahead. She later told me every now and then she'd she me flying by, falling on my arse and struggling to get up. Essentially when I began to fall, my mind went a bit and I just wasn't using my technique for slowing/turning etc. properly. So essentially. This is how I was going down. Fast as fuck for a while, fall on my arse, dangerously hurtling down the mountain at full speed, fall on my arse. I had to fall for fear I'd crash into someone. My ski's began to go flying off me as I fell (a problem Jon later cited to be down to my boots and ski's not fitting right with each other) the safety guards patrolling the slope had to help me now and then and urged me to 'go slow' 'I'm trying' I replied. But fuck it, it was a rush even though at one point I thought I might have to slide down the rest of the slope on my arse.
Lo and behold however, from ploughing on with it, I actually had the hang of it by the end of the hill. I bumped into Jon (now on his 4th run since I'd seen him) and he said I looked fine. The lads had seen me from the cable car on another run and said I looked in control. Not bad. I'd overcome the Gondola! Fuckin' A. People were amazed I'd gone down it after only 1 other beginner run and I was touted as a hero. Ignorance truly is bliss I guess. I'm glad I went down it anyway cos it was a helluva an experience. Here's us at the top of the Gondola (I was terrified in reality- brave face and all that):
We gave back our gear after that and hit our dorm rooms to shower and get ready for new years. Pre-drinks were had then we hit a club across the road. We paid 10,000 won in each (about 6.50 yos) I got 2 free drinks cards for walking in last and they were giving free shots of tequila (i had 4 or 5). the club was empty enough though but we had a good laugh. Some people hit the booze a little too hard and the night ended earlier and a little messier than hoped. But we had fun and me and mairead saw some fireworks outside. Gaz ordered Pig's Feet from a korean BBQ for an end of the year meal after the night out. I walked in on him, Jen and Shuba- didn't know it was pig's feet, didn't know they hadn't fully bbq'd it yet, ate some- RANK! Gaz got on well with the lady there. Calling her Mama. Here they are together:
We found out the next day we missed quite a show on the slopes. There were skiiers flying down the mountains with torches blazing, spelling out 2012 and all that jazz. sounded cool, but ah well. once ye have fun thats all that matters.
The trip was topped off by them playing the film The Fighter on the bus on the way back. I was gonna sleep but made myself stay awake for that. Great film. And that was new years.
Hope y'all had fun wherever ye may be.
Stay safe.
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Squatter's Rights!
Thar' she blows.
Well scrotes, I'd like to introduce you all to the toilet I'm expected to use in school. Not only am I expected to use these, there's the added perk of sharing them with the fifth and sixth grade students. So a piss stenched hell hole or 'pee pee soaked heck hole' is what was awaiting me when I first had to tackle the delicate matter of voiding my bowels during the work day.
For a few weeks I restricted myself to using the urinals to have a piss, despite them being tailored towards children, I didn't mind this so much. For the first few weeks my school cafeteria was being renovated so I was able to retreat to the sanctuary of my studio apartment where the shit fell out of me like clockwork each lunchtime. Now passing clockwork through your arse might not sound too pleasant but it was better than using a child's squatter anyway.
Disaster struck when after the first few weeks passed, we were informed we would now have to bring our lunch into school with us, no more leaving the school grounds, my fellow native co-teacher worried about having to cook/prepare something for lunch, I was instantly hit with the stark realisation of having to face the shitty music. Those of you who know me very well will know what a serial shitter I am, so these were dark dark times.
Now facing these toilets came with other problems other than the fact that they were squatters. The doors are fucking tiny as is the cubicle space in general. "How the hell do the other teachers willingly go along with this?" I wondered aloud while sitting at my desk. Surely a staff toilet isn't too much to ask. As I mentioned before the place also reeks of the miss the bowl pisses that peppered the toilet floor as aim is clearly not a priority for Korean boys aged between 11-13. In addition, do you think they have individual bog roll for each cubicle?? no no no, of course not, why would you? this is Korea, we do it 'better', we have a nice communal dispenser to meet you at the door so any other attendants in the toilet can see just how many inches of bog roll you expect to need in there. Essentially, you announce to the whole damn place how messy you think this encounter with your bowels may turn out. This is the norm in Korean public toilets and its fucking annoying- I don't want people seeing how much I use....I think its intentionally done so out of sheer embarrassment, if nothing else, you'll be more economical. No one wants to be stood at the communal dispenser for ages taking reams and reams of paper. Its just not a comfortable experience. There is of course the tricky issue of the students you may encounter in the toilet as well....they don't go home till half 2 and many stay after for extra classes so there's always the chance you'll run into one of them on your trip to drop a deuce. Knowing how cruel kids can be, the sight of you disappearing into a cubicle with a handful of bog roll and not reappearing until 5 or so minutes later (depending on how clean the fudge dragon you cook up passes), will spread throughout the school like wildfire.
Soon enough, my despair with the situation turned into anguish. The first while I just couldn't bring myself to go ahead with the ordeal. I sat in extreme discomfort at my desk for easily half the day, very close to just bolting out the door and heading for the nearby safehaven of my apartment.
As the discomfort increased so, naturally, did my anger. Initial bemusement gave way firstly to indignation and then downright blind rage. Eventually I vented my frustrations via facebook message to Mairead who was willing to listen but thought I should man up and just go. She made the salient point of the damage I was doing to my bowels. she was right, the inability to squat over that horrid hole and squeeze out a chocolate hot dog was not worth getting bowel cancer over. It was late afternoon, no kids in sight I crept into the toilet with ninja like stealth, determined not to be detected. I opened the first door and practically shat myself in anger. NO FUCKING BIN TO PUT THE BOG ROLL IN???? ARE YOU FCKIG KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! No such luck on the next two doors either, finally the last cubicle yielded results.
So my first attempt at using a squatter to pass a dook and it just was not as straightforward as I hoped. I hovered very unsure over the gaping maw of the jacks with my pants now down around my ankles....'what fuck sort of way do I do this?' I wondered. Fuck. I'd forgotten the bog roll. Enraged I said fuck this and held it in one more day. I just couldn't do it.
The next time, I remembered to collect my bog roll on entry, yanking it with real frustration out of the dispenser. The whole time as I contemplated the whole issue I constantly ran ranting monologues through my head "how the fuck do they expect us to face this every day? surely they know we're gonna inevitably have to shit, its bad enough we practically baby sit these little fuckers all day and can't get a moments peace with them hounding you for hello's and nice to meet you's- we have to share the fucking toilets with them?? and they stink! how do the other teachers put up with this? It is not a comfortable fucking work environement...is a fucking staff toilet too much to ask for....one sitter somewhere in this godforsaken place....fuck this, I'm going back to Ireland, I need to know I can shit in comfort at my workplace....FUCK THIS!!!"
Rant over, I attempted to squat again with much trepidation....this just was not fair. After some informal chats about the process of 'squatting for a dook' I had learned of 3 techniques for staying balanced. One was The Eagle. You squatted and sent both arms out to the sides to each wall to keep balance. There was the Keeping the Door Closed- both arms outstretched and pressed against the door, serving the double purpose of keeping you balanced while ensuring no unwanted visitors come in in case the lock is broken and then the Front and Back one arm stretched to the door, the other to the back wall. Naturally I found myself a Keeping the Door Closed guy but have since been converted to the Front and Back. As i eventually squatted, with my hands desperately applying pressure to the door, praying that no one would walk in, I questioned whether I had the aim correct- in two respects. Firstly, you'd be surprised how unsure you are that you're definitly gonna hit the porcelain when squatting like that. The balance was still not perfect and I worried about a possible sway resulting in a shit stained floor. They'd know the culprit was the Westerner accustomed to ya know, sitting on a seat while I shit....imagine that? Crazy foreigners, eh?? Fuck off. The second matter was, being fully aware that a certain amount of urine inevitably passes with the pressure of the push when evacuating your bowels, I wondered how the fuck, squatting like this would I not piss on my jeans around my ankles......This one still worries me every time I tackle the squatters....I find I have to shit and then when I feel the piss coming kinda scuttle back a bit and make sure I get a hand down there to aim my dick away from the trousers....I really have had to do that every time I've used a squatter....lovely imagery for all I'm sure.
Anyway, I took a deep breath and went. It wasn't exactly my finest turd, it certainly wasn't a no wiper- much to my irritation I still await my first no wiper here in Korea. The place stank as there's no water to mask any of the smell, just a nice dry turd steaming away beneath ya....I flushed, wiped as quick as I could and got the fuck out of there. Fear overcome, but I still never wanted to go back.
Alas, I did return however quite a few times. Until I finally discovered......can you believe it, in the school's gym:
Halle-fucking-lujah! A fucking proper sit down shitter! I'd never been so happy to see one in my fuckin life. The cubicles a little cramped and the toilet itself a little low (but thats the norm for korean shitters) but thank fuck, it was a shitter.
A couple of awkward encounters with the PE teacher when entering the gym made me still use the squatter the odd time. An embarrassed nod of the head as his eyes locked with mine, seeming to silently accuse 'I know that its you leaving all the shit stained bog roll in the bin in that cubicle'. But now I don't give a fuck, every day, anytime since there's no students there, I go and have my shit in relative peace (except if PE is on, then its a quick Dump and Run). And there's no fuckin way I'm goin back to a squatter unless in absolute dire need. I'm all for different cultures and the fact that different countries do things differently but I can say unequivocally, without a shred or hint of doubt that on the toilet front- Korea bad, Western World good.
And that goes for all the other dirty squatters out there.
yeah I'm talking bout you.......
Later scrotes!
Friday, 28 October 2011
In the company of Devils.
Soooooooooooooooooo. Here we are at the end of another month and its no surprise that I have fallen shamefully behind on my blog posts. Promises of frequent updates have been broken, aspirations for a weekly post have been put firmly in check by the harsh reality of my laziness and procrastination. I had high hopes by this stage of having everyone firmly filled in on my school, workmates, students, toilets (coming soon to a blogspot near you), the area I live and the curious practice of the Korean drugged out puppy trade. Alas, some of these pieces may never be written and shall most likely be lost to the dump of blogposts that could have been. Tragic really. But, its not all doom and gloom chums because I've mustered up the werewithal to post about possibly the most interesting and important aspect of life here in Daegu. And here they are:
The Daegu Fuckin' Devils!!
As soon as I arrived in Daegu, I was eager to join one of the three football teams here that competed in the Korean Foreigner Football League. I had heard tell that the Devils were the team to join so I wasted no time in getting in touch. They informed me and some other newbies that they were looking for 2 or 3 more players as they had a fairly big squad. Throughout September we attended some training sessions and fortunately I was asked to join the team along with a couple of other mates. Unfortunately we had a casualty along the way with my good friend Gareth defecting to bitter local rivals Daegu FC for the promise of more guaranteed first team football. Ah well.
Our opening game in the league came against what can only be described as whipping boys. We won 10-1, I was played up front, a position I've never really played before 11 a side, but I managed two scrappy goals amongst the 10 so I was happy with the debut.
Next up however was serious business. The Ulsan Cup is held every year in Korea. Its the biggest cup for foreigner teams here and the winners are somewhat considered to be the best foreigner team in Korea (or so it seems). On Saturday you play 3 group games. After that there is a Winners and Losers cup on Sunday with the potential of playing 3 more games should you make the final- 25/30 min halves per game. We travelled to Ulsan on Friday night with games early on Saturday. I was sharing a room with seasoned vet of the Devils Mikey Cavada. That friday evening as he left the bar, I asked how late he minded me staying out. He replied 'just not too late'. Early the next morning, suffering from a raging hangover, I was informed (jokingly...half-jokingly??) that last night fell under the bracket of 'too late' and curfew would be imposed that night. For the rest of the morning I desperately tried to shake a whopping headache and voided my bowels in a less than satisfactory or sanitary toilet near the pitches.
Our first game of the tournament against Seoul based Outkasts FC started horribly. One of our key centre mids was knocked unconscious with a combination headbutt/wallop against the turf. The two teams proceeded to argue and jostle above his spazzing body as those of us on the sidelines fumbled for water to bring to his aid. Eventually he was carried off the pitch and to a nearby hospital. Our heads never seemed to get in that game and despite the opposition being very weak we sucuumbed to a 1-0 defeat. Heads were down and some tensions were slightly frayed. I'd made a cameo appearance near the end but felt little had been achieved.
Not to worry, our next match was against Jejuventus from Jeju island. We came out all guns blazing here however, geared up from our previous defeat. We scored early on and continued from there. I managed to notch up a brace in this game and we ran out 7-0 victors. (Jejuventus would later outplay Outkasts in a 0-0 draw between the two...gives ya an idea of how bad the 1st defeat was).
So now we were on a high and gearing up for the big one. Our last group game and it happened to be a Daegu derby. In recent years Daegu FC had begun to shift the balance of power in Daegu football it seems, and the veterans on the team seemed determined that today was a day to put that to an end. We started brightly and after some great work down the right wing, a zipping cross was played to me at the back post. All of one yard out, I did my very best to sky it over the bar but fortunately it managed to just about sneak in under the roof of the net. Relief and euphoria all at once. 1-0 Devils. We continued to be the better side I thought for the remainder of the half. Second half started even enough and under some pressure our player-manager Timmy booted the ball upfield. There was a wicked spin on it so I thought I'd chase down the centre back and see how he dealt with it. The ball seemed to bounce off his knee as he stumbled and suddenly I was through on goal. I managed to sneak the ball in at the near post and was instantly bombarded by ecstatic teammates. As they all screamed in my ear my favourite nugget of praise I managed to gleam from centre mid G was: "They're gonna be building a statue of you in Daegu baby!!" The rest of the game was quite uneventful and FC managed to pull back a rather fortunate goal that looked like it was meant to be a cross. We held on for our win and topped our group.
Bodies were aching that night so we took it easy. Many jokes were made of the state I'd been in that morning and how I managed to get 4 goals. Some suggested (me included) that it was a winning formula- not to be tampered with. The spirit was willing but the flesh spongy and bruised so all of us had an early night. The next morning I felt of much sounder body and mind and ready for our quarter final.
Again we seemed to start slow and despite having much the better of the game, our quarter final ended 0-0. So penalties it was. but with our keeper Bino making saves like this:
and boys like Donny putting away penos like this:
the outcome was never in doubt.
We progressed to the semi's were we were victorious 2-1 thanks to a Chad Newton double (I think...this is the game I have least memory of it seems). There was an epic battle between the lad with the ponytail and our giant Haitian centre half during the game which was entertaining to watch and listen to- the Haitian is one funny smack talker.
So we were through to the final. It was to be against our leagues current reigning champions Busan Utd. I hadn't scored today and was feeling it wasn't my day. The game started at a high tempo and after myself and Mikey Vada pressured their right back into an error, good old Chad Newton from Cinncinatti took the ball on, beat a defender and smashed an absolute beaut into the far corner. 1-0 Devils. After not playing particularly well and feeling the toll of two days of football on my body, I was substituted. Our star centre back 'G.I. Mark' aka 'MEGATRON' (in the above picture) also had to come off with an injury and in his absence, an equaliser was scored. It was our understanding that in this tournament once you were subbed off you couldn't be subbed back on (our league is roll on roll off subs). I had taken off my boots and shinguards and was enjoying a pitchside smoke when Chad pulled up injured and I was frantically urged by my teammates to get my fuckin boots on and get on the pitch. So I managed to get my gear back on and entered the game once more. Full time ended 1-1 so two periods of 10 minute extra time were on the cards. The 1st half of ET was uneventful but we began to pressure. The second half started and it was hectic. Our star man, centre mid Mark McKeever picked up the ball about midway into their half, he beats 2,3, maybe 4 men with ease, he takes a shot! it bounces off their defender! it rolls into my path and all I have to do is neatly slot it in. We go apeshit! I was convinced that was the winning goal and I think everyone on the pitch was. Not so. Busan equalise not long after. BUT! Huzzah! McKeever floats in a free kick from around half way, their defender panics, under no pressure attempts to head it clear, it loops over their keeper and in. Ok, not the greatest way to win it but we'll take it.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! keep in mind all this is happening in a 10 minute period of extra fuckin time. Busan pressure for another equaliser, mostly long balls, attempting to get a head on it. They send in one such ball, which doesn't look very threatening, we have plenty of people to clear it, but whats this?!?! At the edge of the box, rising like a salmon, is small man Tony.....with his hand in the air!!!!! the referee promptly gives a free for handball. Its literally on the 18 yard line. They smash it, it hits our wall, falls to a player who looks VERY offside, and whaddya know? They equalise. 3 fuckin' all. Can ya believe it? Penalties again. I took my place at half way with the rest of the boys, unsure of myself from the penalty spot since my heartbreaking miss for MOOPS FC this past April. Here we are (me at the edge, in my Ebbsfleet jersey, we were waiting for new jerseys, didn't have enough so i just had to wear red and stick the number on with tape...I chose 71 cos it was easy to tape on and a lot of other numbers were taken)
We watched nervously as the penalties were taken. They miss two of theirs and we calmly put away every spot kick. Fittingly, its player of the tournament Mark McKeever who nets the winner. We go apeshit again and then promptly congratulate our opponents on an epic final, played in very good spirits. We celebrate a bit then have to go to the trophy ceremony. Amidst this I'm informed that with 5 goals I've won the tournaments golden boot. What a start to Daegu Devils life, eh? I think I was the first award announced and here's a little pic of me receiving it:
other awards were given and lastly, after the organiser congratulates both us and Busan Utd. for the greatest final he's ever seen in the history of the competition, we received our 2011 Ulsan Cup Champions Trophy:
accepted by Bino and Timmy.
After that, we cracked out some Cuban cigars, some beers and drank from the cup:
After that we headed back to Daegu and to a local bar (our jersey sponsors) Travellers. El Vino did flow, Spurs beat the Arse 2-1, Kyle Walker scored a cracker, no school the next day, what more could ye want?
Since then we had one match rescheduled which is gonna be played this weekend against Daegu whipping boys Sydney Street FC. This past Sunday we had a helluva long journey for an away match in a shithole called Jeonju. They're a good team and we got a hard earned 1-1 away draw which isn't bad but we should have won. One of the lads scored possibly the greatest goal I've seen in person- this whopper overhead kick but it got disallowed for offside, I was constantly called offside when I wasn't- the ref even telling me the linesman was wrong, to which i replied "then why did you blow your whistle??".....anyway, not the end of the world. Hopefully we're gonna kick on and win this league and there'll be plenty of happy updates about the Devils.
Every Sunday is Devils Sunday.
Peace out scrotes!
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
Choo-Choo-Chuseok pt. II: 'What happened in Busan'
Alright scrotes.
As is my wont I'm already getting ridiculously behind on blog posts and a lotta stuff is happening or things I want to post about are being put on the long finger so I may try make this one snappy. So without further ado.
In our previous installment, our two young heroes had endured a harrowing journey via the depths of hell to Busan. But they made it! We hopped on the subway and were met by our good friends Ciara (who was generously letting us stay at her apartment) and Emilio (who was generously letting Ciara stay with him while we crashed at hers). We didn't mess about too much and headed out for a birthday/ugly clothing night celebration. We did our best to ugg ourselves up for the occassion and some succeeded more than others:
Needless to say, the craic was had, alcohol was consumed in copious amounts and their were heads in the morning. Here's a great picture of the whole gang that met up that night:
The next day was Baseball day! Baseball is huge in Korea and Busan offered myself and Maireads first opportunity to witness the sport at first hand. Yet again, a gaggle of westerners was assembled and we headed out to see the local Busan team Lotte Giants overcome some other team that we never did quite manage to get the name of. Anyway, with one eye half on the game and the rest of my attention focused on drinking, I ended up thoroughly enjoying my baseball experience wherein I even allowed myself to sample the wonders of a corndog. The strangest moment of the game had to be when the whole home crowd proceeded to place orange plastic bags on their head towards the end of the game. Me and Emilio had happened to be out smoking when they handed the bags out and got quite a large chorus of 'Boo' when we appeared from the inner recesses of the stadium bagless. Luckily a kind Korean woman spared our blushes by producing two spare bags.
Now I may be getting the days mixed up but I think that evening resulted in us beginning our epic search for the fabled 'Korean donut' for Mairead. Mairead's sweet tooth salivated as she was informed of the wonders of this exotic foreign treat that was not like a regular donut. She had to have one. The guy who sold them had closed his little stall however so we went to a rock bar instead where we requested banging tunes all night, enjoying such classics as The Pogues, The Beatles, a birra The Boss etc. It was the first time I'd heard good music while on a night out since I got here so I was chuffed.
The next day we chilled for the most part, nursing our ever growing accumulative hangovers. That night however it was time for some beach drinking and boy was it eventful. The evening began on a rather low note as we absconded to a well renowned Irish bar famous for its craic, caint agus ceoil- The Wolfhound. It was very dead and we were a little disappointed. But not to worry says you! Beach drinking was a mere walk away. So we headed on down to Haeundae beach. We sat on some steps and sand and knocked back some beers and soju, we ignored the fact that what seemed to be a genuine American nutcase had infiltrated our ranks.
It was at this point that Mairead, Ciara and Emilio decided to go out and stand in the water to enjoy the swirl around their feet. Being the dour kill-joy that I am, I did not join them, opting instead to drink more soju on the steps. Suddenly I was approached by Emilio with the news that Mairead had been grabbed and dunked into the water. We were pretty pissed off about it and promptly went in search of the culprits. It was hard to tell who it was and we may or may not have accosted the correct people at one point but we couldn't be sure and everyone claimed innocence. Without even so much as an apology, we returned to the now drenched damsel in distress. She was taking it pretty well, unlike American nutjob who proceeded to shout expletives about the French. Every so often our conversation was interrupted by him getting increasingly louder as he uttered "...the fuCKINNGG FREEEENCCCCCHHHHH!"
Anyway, Mairead was soaked and beginning to shiver. But never fear, the boyfriend was here. My mind instantly went into overdrive in an attempt to somehow rectify this situation so that we could stay out, have more fun without Mairead being uncomfortable or getting sick. It clicked. I dashed off not a moment too soon in search of the nearest apparel store. I came across a charming little woman with a less than toothy grin who was selling an array of beach shorts and flip flops. Without caring to attempt to break our language barrier and inquire about sizes, I grabbed the cheapest pair of shorts I could find and returned at a canter to the rest of the group. Myself and Mairead afforded ourselves some privacy by the shore and I gave her my dry jeans while I slipped on the recently purchased shorts. She had already acquired a spare tshirt from ciara as well as a cardigan. I had to make one more rather embarrassing trip back to the aforementioned lady to buy a pair of flip flops for Mairead. The end result of this whole debaccle looked a little something like this:
The shorts got plenty of comments and stares and even some props when the backstory behind them was filled in. The night however took yet another nasty turn. As we returned to our steps to continue our beverage consumption, at some stage an Asian fellow approached us and sat down. He seems to have been Japanese. As a friendly gesture Emilio offered him some Soju which he quickly accepted. He wasn't so willing to accept the fact he had to give it back however. He turned quite nasty, insisting the Soju was his and at one point grabbing Emilio. I had barely noticed he was there up unitl this all erupted so I'm not sure of the full details. Anyway, he seemed crazy. There was a very short Mexican stand-off and then we left him to harass other unsuspecting members of the public along the beach. Eventually it was time for home after a rather dramatico moment in our lives. (Korean in-joke)
The rest of the trip I am unsure of the order of. We explored Busan and Mairead frequently and in vain searched for the famed Korean donut. Although she did find Krispy Kreme
Where she became a window licker and donut lover! We went to another branch of the rock bar we'd been at before. This one was 14 stories high and overlooked Haeundae beach but unfortunately the best I got out of the DJ was some Eminem- which was very enjoyable to rap out however.
At some point we visited a temple which I forget the name is but I think I'm already at the point of ya seen one ya seen em all.....and I've only seen two. Cynicism growing exponentially with age it would seem.
A momentous finish to the whole trip was when me and Mairead were actually on our last sojourn around Busan before getting our gear and going home, one last attempt was made to see if Korean donut man was there. Miraculously he was. Donuts were ordered, satisfied groans were exchanged between sweet lovers and smiles were evident all round. It had all turned out ok.
Me and Mairead left Busan with one lingering thought hanging over us "I wish we had the beach in Daegu."
Later scrotes. There is much to fill in, such as my exploits with my Expat football team Daegu Devils, The lowdown on the area where I live, the school I teach in, the kids I teach, some odd items for sale in Korean shop windows.....so I'm unsure what the next entry will entail. For now hope you all had a very merry Chuseok at home and I can't wait to celebrate it again next year.
Peace scrotes.
As is my wont I'm already getting ridiculously behind on blog posts and a lotta stuff is happening or things I want to post about are being put on the long finger so I may try make this one snappy. So without further ado.
In our previous installment, our two young heroes had endured a harrowing journey via the depths of hell to Busan. But they made it! We hopped on the subway and were met by our good friends Ciara (who was generously letting us stay at her apartment) and Emilio (who was generously letting Ciara stay with him while we crashed at hers). We didn't mess about too much and headed out for a birthday/ugly clothing night celebration. We did our best to ugg ourselves up for the occassion and some succeeded more than others:
Needless to say, the craic was had, alcohol was consumed in copious amounts and their were heads in the morning. Here's a great picture of the whole gang that met up that night:
The next day was Baseball day! Baseball is huge in Korea and Busan offered myself and Maireads first opportunity to witness the sport at first hand. Yet again, a gaggle of westerners was assembled and we headed out to see the local Busan team Lotte Giants overcome some other team that we never did quite manage to get the name of. Anyway, with one eye half on the game and the rest of my attention focused on drinking, I ended up thoroughly enjoying my baseball experience wherein I even allowed myself to sample the wonders of a corndog. The strangest moment of the game had to be when the whole home crowd proceeded to place orange plastic bags on their head towards the end of the game. Me and Emilio had happened to be out smoking when they handed the bags out and got quite a large chorus of 'Boo' when we appeared from the inner recesses of the stadium bagless. Luckily a kind Korean woman spared our blushes by producing two spare bags.
Now I may be getting the days mixed up but I think that evening resulted in us beginning our epic search for the fabled 'Korean donut' for Mairead. Mairead's sweet tooth salivated as she was informed of the wonders of this exotic foreign treat that was not like a regular donut. She had to have one. The guy who sold them had closed his little stall however so we went to a rock bar instead where we requested banging tunes all night, enjoying such classics as The Pogues, The Beatles, a birra The Boss etc. It was the first time I'd heard good music while on a night out since I got here so I was chuffed.
The next day we chilled for the most part, nursing our ever growing accumulative hangovers. That night however it was time for some beach drinking and boy was it eventful. The evening began on a rather low note as we absconded to a well renowned Irish bar famous for its craic, caint agus ceoil- The Wolfhound. It was very dead and we were a little disappointed. But not to worry says you! Beach drinking was a mere walk away. So we headed on down to Haeundae beach. We sat on some steps and sand and knocked back some beers and soju, we ignored the fact that what seemed to be a genuine American nutcase had infiltrated our ranks.
It was at this point that Mairead, Ciara and Emilio decided to go out and stand in the water to enjoy the swirl around their feet. Being the dour kill-joy that I am, I did not join them, opting instead to drink more soju on the steps. Suddenly I was approached by Emilio with the news that Mairead had been grabbed and dunked into the water. We were pretty pissed off about it and promptly went in search of the culprits. It was hard to tell who it was and we may or may not have accosted the correct people at one point but we couldn't be sure and everyone claimed innocence. Without even so much as an apology, we returned to the now drenched damsel in distress. She was taking it pretty well, unlike American nutjob who proceeded to shout expletives about the French. Every so often our conversation was interrupted by him getting increasingly louder as he uttered "...the fuCKINNGG FREEEENCCCCCHHHHH!"
Anyway, Mairead was soaked and beginning to shiver. But never fear, the boyfriend was here. My mind instantly went into overdrive in an attempt to somehow rectify this situation so that we could stay out, have more fun without Mairead being uncomfortable or getting sick. It clicked. I dashed off not a moment too soon in search of the nearest apparel store. I came across a charming little woman with a less than toothy grin who was selling an array of beach shorts and flip flops. Without caring to attempt to break our language barrier and inquire about sizes, I grabbed the cheapest pair of shorts I could find and returned at a canter to the rest of the group. Myself and Mairead afforded ourselves some privacy by the shore and I gave her my dry jeans while I slipped on the recently purchased shorts. She had already acquired a spare tshirt from ciara as well as a cardigan. I had to make one more rather embarrassing trip back to the aforementioned lady to buy a pair of flip flops for Mairead. The end result of this whole debaccle looked a little something like this:
The shorts got plenty of comments and stares and even some props when the backstory behind them was filled in. The night however took yet another nasty turn. As we returned to our steps to continue our beverage consumption, at some stage an Asian fellow approached us and sat down. He seems to have been Japanese. As a friendly gesture Emilio offered him some Soju which he quickly accepted. He wasn't so willing to accept the fact he had to give it back however. He turned quite nasty, insisting the Soju was his and at one point grabbing Emilio. I had barely noticed he was there up unitl this all erupted so I'm not sure of the full details. Anyway, he seemed crazy. There was a very short Mexican stand-off and then we left him to harass other unsuspecting members of the public along the beach. Eventually it was time for home after a rather dramatico moment in our lives. (Korean in-joke)
The rest of the trip I am unsure of the order of. We explored Busan and Mairead frequently and in vain searched for the famed Korean donut. Although she did find Krispy Kreme
Where she became a window licker and donut lover! We went to another branch of the rock bar we'd been at before. This one was 14 stories high and overlooked Haeundae beach but unfortunately the best I got out of the DJ was some Eminem- which was very enjoyable to rap out however.
At some point we visited a temple which I forget the name is but I think I'm already at the point of ya seen one ya seen em all.....and I've only seen two. Cynicism growing exponentially with age it would seem.
A momentous finish to the whole trip was when me and Mairead were actually on our last sojourn around Busan before getting our gear and going home, one last attempt was made to see if Korean donut man was there. Miraculously he was. Donuts were ordered, satisfied groans were exchanged between sweet lovers and smiles were evident all round. It had all turned out ok.
Me and Mairead left Busan with one lingering thought hanging over us "I wish we had the beach in Daegu."
Later scrotes. There is much to fill in, such as my exploits with my Expat football team Daegu Devils, The lowdown on the area where I live, the school I teach in, the kids I teach, some odd items for sale in Korean shop windows.....so I'm unsure what the next entry will entail. For now hope you all had a very merry Chuseok at home and I can't wait to celebrate it again next year.
Peace scrotes.
Monday, 26 September 2011
Choo-Choo-Chuseok Pt. I
Alright scrotes!
I'm gonna split this entry into a couple of parts cos I've dramatised our journey to Busan to such a degree that the post is rather long. I don't know about yous but personally I like my internet reading to be nice short and snappy so I don't want to be providing you guys with posts that are a size I wouldn't read myself. So, on with the show.
Last time I introduced you to the wonders of Soju. So appetising was my description of this nectar of the gods (buddha's?) that one of our faithful followers actually splashed out 9 blips on a bottle back home. The Hop House saw you coming Crybn, its under a euro for a bottle here. So this time I'm going to enlighten you about a little Korean holiday we enjoyed called Chuseok. Pronounce it Chew-sock, but don't try to pronounce it while chewing a sock.
Anyway, bad jokes aside, Chuseok is kind of like a Korean thanksgiving. It's a harvest/pay respects to the dead type of holiday. This year it fell on September 12th. What this meant was that only 2 weeks into working over here we had a 3 day holiday which amounted to 5 days off in a row including the weekend. On Chuseok most Koreans go back to their family home. They eat, drink and be merry as do all on a national holiday. However, apparently its not a nice time for the majority of women as they have to do all the cooking etc., not too dissimilar from many Irish homes at Christmas I'd wager. Chuseok is also a time for remembering the dead. Ancestors tombs are visited, respects are paid, the area surrounding the tomb is given a nice once over. Now most Koreans do the whole visiting the tomb, having the big feast etc. BUT when I asked my sixth graders what they did for Chuseok there were those among them who simply replied 'I played computer games.' So ya never know, maybe the old traditions are giving way to the smothering embrace of technology- which they are absolutely nuts about actually-smartphones abound everywhere ya go and I see kids as young as 5 or 6 with Iphones. Craziness.
Back to Chuseok however and our experience of it here.
We went to a place called Busan.
We drank for 5 days.
That is all.
Ah no, only pulling ye by the short and curlies. That is what we did pretty much but I'll fill in some of the gory details.
So, myself and Mairead's journey began one fine Friday evening as we met up at approximately 5 p.m. after school. Quite foolishly we had booked a train for 5.50 p.m leaving Daegu and headed for Busan. We had never travelled to the station before and we may have been slightly optimistic with our hopes of how close it was.
We boarded the subway at approximately 5.15/5.20 or so and instantly began doubting our abilities of making the train on time. The journey was a tense one. Doubts were expressed. Blame was silently attributed to the other party by both parties, no accusations made but accusations felt in the piercing stares that we alternately exchanged with each other. Nerves began to get the better of me and when I realised my passport was in my luggage and that I needed it to prove my ticket reservation I began to despair. On a crowded, stuffy subway I made a rather fumbling, vain and embarrassing attempt to extract the passport from the inner regions of my mini suit case. But alas to no avail. Like a true strong Irish woman however, when I had lost all hope and was just about ready to leave the case behind and head for home, Mairead stepped in and calmly retrieved my passport. The old korean women beside us gave me a look that said 'he is not a man', rather astute of them if I do say so myself. Crisis averted for now.
We arrived at Dongdaegu subway station and began to run. It was only at this point that we observed that neither of us actually knew the location of Dongdaegu train station. We desperately hoped it would just appear in front of us whatever direction we galloped towards. An attempt to get the information out of some locals turned into a meeting with a couple of slack jawed gawkers, so we kept on truckin along. We began to follow a sign for the train station, it happened to point to the right where there was a road and an elevator. For some reason we believed the elevator to be the gateway to the station. It promptly landed us right back down in the subway station we had emerged from moments earlier. It began to feel like someone didn't want us in Busan. Nerves and relations were certainly frayed by this point. I know I considered packing it in and not bothering but Mairead was insistent that we do our darndest to make the 5.50 train we had already shelled out 15,000 won each for. We started to really leg it, and began to sweat like a couple of pigs on a roasting spit. As we entered the station I clocked us at 5.46.
Now, we had made it but there was still one minor concern. We had only a ticket reservation sheet with us but no tickets. As we stumbled into the main area of the station our hearts sank, our heads wildly turned this way and that in the hope of seeing a ticket booth. All we could see were electronic machines to get tickets from. My last ounce of hope of making the train evaporated so Mairead once again took the lead and tried to get tickets from the machine. To no avail. We decided on just jumping on the train with the reservation. We made it down to our platform feeling very uncomfortable and tired. It musta been 5.48 maybe even 5.49 now. I don't know what possessed me at this point but I had the sudden impulse to give printing the tickets from the machine one last try. I dumped the bags with a flabbergasted Mairead and set off into the distance up the escalator. I pelted towards the e-machine for tickets and entered my reservation number with a flourish; 'By George I've got it' I exclaimed (*editors note: some phrases/dialogue may have been exaggerated for dramatic purposes). But today of course was not a day when things went right. After successfully entering the reservation number, it asked for a password. A fucking password? What fucking password? The website never gave me a fucking password for fuck sake!!?!?!? That is how I felt right there. I gave the machine a light punch and ran back to the platform, the train had arrived and people were embarking. I couldn't see Mairead. I looked along the platform in a panic and eventually heard the light cry of 'Mark! Mark!' Ah, there she was. So I took my luggage from the poor struggling maiden and we entered an economy class carriage. Like any true Irish folk abroad we were using their public transport with no tickets to show.
We stood in between carriages sheepishly, dripping sweat, just hoping no one would ask for tickets.
10 minutes in a Korean woman in KTX uniform (KTX is the train we got- Korean speed train- makes journeys incredibly short around the country- its whopper!) asked us for tickets. I promptly produced my reservation, my passport and explained our harrowing tale as best I could to her. "That's ok" she said and off she went. Travelling back we were never asked to show tickets and my friend told me there are signs in the station that say 'we trust you', so there ya go. Halfway through the journey we got seats and it was finally plain sailing to Busan. We arrived within 45 minutes.
Well thats it for now, stay tuned for 'Chuseok pt. II: What Happened in Busan', also entitled 'What Ned did'.
Peace scrotes!
I'm gonna split this entry into a couple of parts cos I've dramatised our journey to Busan to such a degree that the post is rather long. I don't know about yous but personally I like my internet reading to be nice short and snappy so I don't want to be providing you guys with posts that are a size I wouldn't read myself. So, on with the show.
Last time I introduced you to the wonders of Soju. So appetising was my description of this nectar of the gods (buddha's?) that one of our faithful followers actually splashed out 9 blips on a bottle back home. The Hop House saw you coming Crybn, its under a euro for a bottle here. So this time I'm going to enlighten you about a little Korean holiday we enjoyed called Chuseok. Pronounce it Chew-sock, but don't try to pronounce it while chewing a sock.
Anyway, bad jokes aside, Chuseok is kind of like a Korean thanksgiving. It's a harvest/pay respects to the dead type of holiday. This year it fell on September 12th. What this meant was that only 2 weeks into working over here we had a 3 day holiday which amounted to 5 days off in a row including the weekend. On Chuseok most Koreans go back to their family home. They eat, drink and be merry as do all on a national holiday. However, apparently its not a nice time for the majority of women as they have to do all the cooking etc., not too dissimilar from many Irish homes at Christmas I'd wager. Chuseok is also a time for remembering the dead. Ancestors tombs are visited, respects are paid, the area surrounding the tomb is given a nice once over. Now most Koreans do the whole visiting the tomb, having the big feast etc. BUT when I asked my sixth graders what they did for Chuseok there were those among them who simply replied 'I played computer games.' So ya never know, maybe the old traditions are giving way to the smothering embrace of technology- which they are absolutely nuts about actually-smartphones abound everywhere ya go and I see kids as young as 5 or 6 with Iphones. Craziness.
Back to Chuseok however and our experience of it here.
We went to a place called Busan.
We drank for 5 days.
That is all.
Ah no, only pulling ye by the short and curlies. That is what we did pretty much but I'll fill in some of the gory details.
So, myself and Mairead's journey began one fine Friday evening as we met up at approximately 5 p.m. after school. Quite foolishly we had booked a train for 5.50 p.m leaving Daegu and headed for Busan. We had never travelled to the station before and we may have been slightly optimistic with our hopes of how close it was.
We boarded the subway at approximately 5.15/5.20 or so and instantly began doubting our abilities of making the train on time. The journey was a tense one. Doubts were expressed. Blame was silently attributed to the other party by both parties, no accusations made but accusations felt in the piercing stares that we alternately exchanged with each other. Nerves began to get the better of me and when I realised my passport was in my luggage and that I needed it to prove my ticket reservation I began to despair. On a crowded, stuffy subway I made a rather fumbling, vain and embarrassing attempt to extract the passport from the inner regions of my mini suit case. But alas to no avail. Like a true strong Irish woman however, when I had lost all hope and was just about ready to leave the case behind and head for home, Mairead stepped in and calmly retrieved my passport. The old korean women beside us gave me a look that said 'he is not a man', rather astute of them if I do say so myself. Crisis averted for now.
We arrived at Dongdaegu subway station and began to run. It was only at this point that we observed that neither of us actually knew the location of Dongdaegu train station. We desperately hoped it would just appear in front of us whatever direction we galloped towards. An attempt to get the information out of some locals turned into a meeting with a couple of slack jawed gawkers, so we kept on truckin along. We began to follow a sign for the train station, it happened to point to the right where there was a road and an elevator. For some reason we believed the elevator to be the gateway to the station. It promptly landed us right back down in the subway station we had emerged from moments earlier. It began to feel like someone didn't want us in Busan. Nerves and relations were certainly frayed by this point. I know I considered packing it in and not bothering but Mairead was insistent that we do our darndest to make the 5.50 train we had already shelled out 15,000 won each for. We started to really leg it, and began to sweat like a couple of pigs on a roasting spit. As we entered the station I clocked us at 5.46.
Now, we had made it but there was still one minor concern. We had only a ticket reservation sheet with us but no tickets. As we stumbled into the main area of the station our hearts sank, our heads wildly turned this way and that in the hope of seeing a ticket booth. All we could see were electronic machines to get tickets from. My last ounce of hope of making the train evaporated so Mairead once again took the lead and tried to get tickets from the machine. To no avail. We decided on just jumping on the train with the reservation. We made it down to our platform feeling very uncomfortable and tired. It musta been 5.48 maybe even 5.49 now. I don't know what possessed me at this point but I had the sudden impulse to give printing the tickets from the machine one last try. I dumped the bags with a flabbergasted Mairead and set off into the distance up the escalator. I pelted towards the e-machine for tickets and entered my reservation number with a flourish; 'By George I've got it' I exclaimed (*editors note: some phrases/dialogue may have been exaggerated for dramatic purposes). But today of course was not a day when things went right. After successfully entering the reservation number, it asked for a password. A fucking password? What fucking password? The website never gave me a fucking password for fuck sake!!?!?!? That is how I felt right there. I gave the machine a light punch and ran back to the platform, the train had arrived and people were embarking. I couldn't see Mairead. I looked along the platform in a panic and eventually heard the light cry of 'Mark! Mark!' Ah, there she was. So I took my luggage from the poor struggling maiden and we entered an economy class carriage. Like any true Irish folk abroad we were using their public transport with no tickets to show.
We stood in between carriages sheepishly, dripping sweat, just hoping no one would ask for tickets.
10 minutes in a Korean woman in KTX uniform (KTX is the train we got- Korean speed train- makes journeys incredibly short around the country- its whopper!) asked us for tickets. I promptly produced my reservation, my passport and explained our harrowing tale as best I could to her. "That's ok" she said and off she went. Travelling back we were never asked to show tickets and my friend told me there are signs in the station that say 'we trust you', so there ya go. Halfway through the journey we got seats and it was finally plain sailing to Busan. We arrived within 45 minutes.
Well thats it for now, stay tuned for 'Chuseok pt. II: What Happened in Busan', also entitled 'What Ned did'.
Peace scrotes!
Thursday, 15 September 2011
"Allow me to introduce myself"
It is an alcoholic beverage.
This will be the first thing I inform people of back home about Korea.
Maybe its an Irish thing or maybe its because this is about as close as I've come to being exposed to something thats actually uniquely Korean. Since the start of orientation, the pleasures of Soju have been sampled many many times and so I thought it appropriate to let the folks back home find out what they're missing. So without further ado; a brief introduction to Soju.
Since I'm a lazy bastard and I really couldn't have put it better or more succintly myself, I'll let the wonderful wisdom of Wikipedia take the lead here. According to wikipedia:
"Soju is a distilled beverage native to Korea. Its taste is comparable to vodka, though often slightly sweeter due to sugars added in the manufacturing process, and more commonly consumed neat.
Most brands of soju are made in South Korea. Though it is traditionally made from rice, most modern producers of soju use supplements or even replace rice with other starches, such as potatoes, wheat, barley, sweet potatoes, or tapioca.
Soju is clear in colour and typically varies in alcohol content from about 18.5% to about 45% alcohol by volume (ABV), with 20% ABV being most common. It is widely consumed, in part, because of its relatively low price in Korea. A typical 300mL bottle of soju costs the consumer 1,000 to 3,000 South Korean Won in South Korea (roughly $1 to $3 United States Dollars). In the USA, it tends to cost substantially more – $6 or more."
That pretty much sums it up folks. Its a lighter, sweeter vodka. Myself and anyone else I've drank it with have been sticking to the 20% stuff, it seems to be the most common and its dirt cheap- less than a euro for a 300ml bottle. In fact, Myself and Mairead usually split at least a bottle between us every night. An increasingly necessary habit due to the stress of teaching elementary school kids. But shop talk is for another time! On with the Soju!
Here are some photos of our wonderful model Mairead with the Soju in her apartment:
Aw, isn't she lovely!!
But beware, because over indulgence can easily cause a night that began as above to end as below:
(Photo courtesy of Emilio Bryer II)
......it doesn't take a genius to see that too much Soju is bad mojo. Ya see, because of the sweetness and lower alcohol level, you can really knock back the stuff. Its easy enough to knock back straight but add even a dash of coke, Hot 6 (red bull substitute) or tropicana and you'll really start to fly through em. As if that wasn't bad enough, a lotta bars sell reasonably priced pitchers of flavoured Soju which look a little like these
and which really go down a treat. One definite positive thats come from the whole Soju experience so far is not a trace of a hangover to be seen and fingers crossed it'll stay that way for the next 11 months!
Now, I haven't drank with any Koreans really since my very first night here but Mairead and other people have with workmates etc. and there is a bit of an etiquette with Soju so ya gotta be careful if you're swinging with the natives. Firstly, you never NEVER pour your own drink. This I found intensely annoying as many people at orientation wanted it enforced even when there were no Koreans but the bar staff around. I guess some people saw it as respectful, I stomached it for a short while then usually said fuck it and poured me own. But with Koreans, it ain't done. The upside to this is, they constantly fill up your glass once its empty, its considered rude not to and much of the time they will bear the brunt of the bill, particularly workmates, or so I've heard tell! So if you're looking to get shitfaced and not pay a cent, hope to stumble upon some natives. In fact I do have vague recollections of having full bottles of beer and Soju shoved into my hand at a karaoke bar in Jeonju where we had orientation by this very friendly young Korean man....perhaps a little TOO friendly, but c'est la vie.
Now as well as not pouring your own, when someone else pours for you (particularly an elder) you should hold the glass up with both your hands. When pouring for someone (especially an elder- Koreans have mad respect for elders or so we're told-although I never see them offered seats on the subway when its full except for me and my mate Emilio however, so you'd wonder), anyway I digress....what was I saying. Ah, Koreans two hands, they're mad for it, especially when giving/receiving drinks and gifts and who knows what else eh? So apparently you rest it in your left palm and hold it with your right hand....but I dunno, I think they forgive foreigners generally if they get it wrong. Oh and although some of us quite like the mixers and the fruity sojus, Koreans rarely mix it, just drinking straight shots. Me and Mairead got a bit of a dirty look when we mixed coke with our Soju at a restaurant- drinking shots of it with meals is the done thing ya see, but Maireads a fiend for an auld mixer and sure I won't say no either! What was worse was they'd brought the Soju out in this mad fancy bottle with a giant Ice cube embedded into it to keep the Soju cool. Then us ignant waygooks (korean for foreigner) come in dunking it into our glasses of coke. Fuck it, tasted scrumptious!
So yeah, I think thats pretty much it. Just had to keep the lads informed on the booze situ over here. Oh yeah, a bit of history on it- The Mongols (thats Bills lot) brought it here in the 13th century so its as old as Davy and then some.
Hope y'all enjoyed and that some of yis might someday be visiting for a Soju or two.
Gom Be!
......thats 'Chee-urs' in Korean.
Peace.
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